Cradles, Cuts and Cardiothoracics
by Pianoninja
Summary: Hanssen has a difficult choice to make involving two of his most senior CT surgeons which will have massive implications for whoever he chooses. When they find themselves on the receiving end of this 'choice' which unlikely source will they go to for help?
1. Only one way to fix this problem

Henrik Hanssen is a man of strategy and power. The altitudes in which his Sweedish brain sits must lack the amount of oxygen needed to function like a normal human being. His lack of almost any sort of emotion and his blaze attitude towards everything meant that this task should've been easy for the Director of Surgery. However, at twelve o'clock on a Monday night he found himself sat at his desk glareing over a list of his staff and a spreadsheet. He had been given the hurculean task of cutting down his spending to meet a government budget. This meant one of two things; cut backs in every department meaning less equiptment, more patients and longer hours, or redundancy. Unfortunately the only way he could see to fix this was staring him straight in the face; the names of two of his most highly acclamimed surgeons: _Elliot Hope _and _Jaqueline Naylor. _After all there really was only room for one consultant roaming the corridors of Darwin. Well the choice was obvious wasn't it?

* * *

Jac awoke suddenly that morning to the sound of her mobile, she picked up the phone and through half open eyes saw '_Henrik Hanssen'_

"Hello? Mr Hanssen?" she croaked sleepily

"Aaah Ms Naylor, I do hope I didn't wake you, I'm just phoning to request that you come and see me in my office first thing this morning" the Swede announced confidently.

"Um...yes of course, what's this about if you don't mind me asking?" Jonny wiggled and rolled over in the bed next to her. She looked over to see his big brown eyes glareing up at her in confusion.

"Nothing to worry about" Hanssen replied "just make sure you're here" and with that he hung up. Jac replaced the phone on to her bed side locker and looked at the clock '_6:45'. _

"What was that about?" Jonny asked, sitting up and strokeing her hair. She huffed and knocked his hand away

"Nothing, Hanssen just wants me to go and see him when we get in." Jonny automatically detected her change of mood and knew something was going on to stress her out.

"Well...what about?" he asked cautiously. She glared at him icily as she slipped out of bed

"I don't know do I!? If I did then there'd be no need for me to go would there!" she hissed back.

* * *

Elliot found himself wakeing up in much the same way, alone in his double bed. He fumbled around to pick up his phone and noted the time _'6:50' _before he answered. Morning Mr Hanssen, how can I be of service?" he chortled happily.

"Good morning Proffessor Hope, would you come up and see in my office when you arrive at work please" he annonced again with authority.

"uh...um...yes...I mean, sure...but um..." his babbleing was interrupted

"See you then Proffessor Hope" Hanssen replied and once again hung up.

* * *

Jonny lay in bed for a while observing as Jac rushed about trying to find something to wear until she stopped suddenly and ran off to the bathroom. Jonny jumped out of bed and trailed after her. He found her doubled over the toilet chucking up as always in the mornings. He had become quite used to this routine after staying at Jac's for the last couple of weeks. She looked at him wearily as he held her beautiful red hair back for her and tried his best to support her. When she felt a little less...sicky she sat back on her knees and looked at the nurse sat next to her. He wrapped his arm delicately arround her shoulder and exhaled slowly as she leaned into him.

"Jac, whatever Hanssen wants to see you about i'm sure it'll be fine. You just need to stay calm and think about the baby." Jac refrained from making eye contact with him and stared solemnly at the floor in front of her.

* * *

On arriving at Holby Elliot head straight upstairs to Hanssen's office where to his and undoubtably her surprise he met Jac.

"Jac?" He greeted her in a confused tone.

"Elliot." She nodded back at him.

"Did Hanssen call you up here too then?" he asked concernedly as he noticed she was looking particularly pale.

"Yeah, any idea what he wants with us?" she inquired hopefully. Elliot shook his head

"no idea, sorry, but it can't be that bad if it's to do with both of us...surely" his words trailed off as he sank into his own train of thought, decifering all possible outcomes of this meeting.

They sat there in silence for a good twenty minutes before hearing the loud clunk of Hanssen's office door opening. They both stood up, looked at each other and headed towards the door way.

"Ah Proffessor Hope, Ms Naylor, good morning, do come on in" Hanssen greeted them a look of pleasure in his eyes. They walked silently in to his office contemplating the events which were unravelling. He advised them both to take a seat in the two conveniently placed chairs infront of his desk. Jac could feel butterflys in her stomach, of all the times to have a meeting why did it have to be early in the morning when she was most likely to have to run out and vomit.

"You're both probably wondering why i've summoned you here this morning" Hanssen began tactfully. "Well as know i've been under a lot of pressure form the board recently to make cuts to fit their budgets. Recently one of said budgets has been cut drastically meaning I have a choice to make. Do believe me when I say it's not an easy choice and if there were any other way then believe you me I would have found it. However it seems we're looking into redundancies and i'm afraid to say that you two were the ones left staring me in the face." He stood up and began walking towards the door. "Not to worry though, to make it fair i'm giving you today to prove your worth to me, i'll be talking to your collegues and keeping an eye on your performance until five o'clock this afternoon." Both consultant's look at each other in absolute shock.

"w...well...what happens then?" Elliot stammered in reply to this revalation. Hanssen now opened the door in preparation to show them out.

"Your fate will be decided and one of you will be leaving Holby." They both stood up and left Hanssen's lair with a solemn and terrified look on their faces.

Jac and Elliot walked back down the corridor in complete silence until Elliot stopped and looked at Jac.

"He can't do this!" He announced forcefully "this is madness!" Jac looked back at Elliot and with a tear in her eye said quietly

"Just leave it Elliot, he's made his decision, we just need to make the best of it" and walked off back to Darwin, leaving the proffessor looking baffled.


	2. There's always someone doing worse

Jac hurried ahead of the elderly proffessor and emerged onto Darwin. To her dismay she was greeted by Jonny looking hopeful and quizzing her about Hanssen's motive for calling her upstairs. She hung her head trying to hide the tears in her eyes while the nurse pestered her as they walked.

"Just leave it will you!" she snapped impatiently. Then she sercomed to the raging hormones and emotions forceing their way around her head and collapsed, sobbing into Jonny's arms.

"Jac?" He whispered concernedly "hey, what's happened?" She looked up at him and the fear and vulnerability in her eyes broke his heart. "Come on" he ushered her into the office she shared with Elliot, hoping he wouldn't turn up at any time soon, and sat her down on the sofa. After closing the door he sat next to her, curling his one arm around her waste whilst moving her fiery red hair from her face with the other hand. She leaned into him as her held her tighter, she felt safe in his arms, like she'd never have to face the reality of the real world if she didn't want to. Eventually after sobbing into the nurses kind, caring arms for a while she explained the situation to him.

* * *

Meanwhile back on the ward Proffessor Hope had returned and was half heartedly flicking through patient notes when Mo crept up behing him.

"Elliot! Can I have some advice on Mr Carter?" He looked at the registrar mildly bewildered "Elliot? Mr Carter, bed 6, aortic valve replacement...Are you alright?"

"Uh..." Mo placed a caring hand tentatively on the senior surgeon's shoulder. Elliot took to a chair behind him, sighing wearily "no, not really." He continued to expain to Miss Effanga about the events of that morning while she listened, nodding every now and then with a look of worry dancing around her caring brown eyes.

* * *

"I can't believe him! I'm going to go and have a word!" Jonny exploded with anger when Jac explained Henrik's plans.

"Jonny. No!" She exclaimed, her voice was weak and unlike her. Jonny tried to reason with the mother of his child

"But, he's..."

"Jonny." She was determined not to let him over react.

"I'm sorry Jac but I don't want you worrying yourself over this, stress isn't good for either of you" he argued, gesturing to the small bump under his girlfriend's shirt. She sighed exasperatedly, trying desperately to keep control of her emotions

"Urgh! You just don't get it do you? If he knows i'm pregnant he's sure to fire me!" The Nurse looked back at her, tilting his head in confusion. "Think about it! If you had the choice between a proffessor with years of CT experience or an overly hormonal pregnant woman who's not even going to be able to operate in a few months. Who would you choose!?" Jonny watched helplessly as the tears began to well up once again in the consultants sparkling green eyes. He stepped towards her, gently putting his arm around her delicate shoulders.

"Jac, I'm sorry, I guess I didn't think about it that way." Shaking him off angrily she screamed at him

"Yeah well that's just your problem isn't it! You never bloody think about anyone except yourself and this stupid baby!" Tears streaming down her face like a storm against a beach she vanished out of her office, towards the toilets. She wasn't angry with Jonny though, she was angry with herself for being so weak.

Elliot gasped as the red headed consultant rushed past him looking upset. Unfortunately for Jac the fact that he had escaped meant that Mo was stood at the nurses station observing and began to folow the emotional mum to be. She noticed the registrar behind her

"Get lost Maureen!" she hissed through sobs and tears. Mo eventually decided that a homonal Jac Naylor wasn't something she wanted to face before her morning coffee and left the consultant to head off on her own to sort her head out.

* * *

A while later and Jac arrived back on the ward to see Proffessor Hope hurrying past her. Without taking anytime to think or question her he shouted over to her

"Ah Jac! Can you take Mrs Humphreys in the side room please, she needs a chest drain fitting and an MRI." He tossed the file towards her before she had time to answer him, she moved her hand instictively towards her stomach to protect the unborn life inside her, meaning the whole patient folder was scattered across Darwin. She sighed and bent down to pick up the papers. Unfortunately at that moment a tall thin shadow loomed over her

"That's unfortunate Ms Naylor" Henrik Hanssen said patronizingly, he bent down and helped her reassemble the file.

As the Swede walked away she stood for a moment in the middle of the ward, rubbing the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger, thinking of a way out of her predicament. Shaking herself back to reality she made her way over to her patient.

* * *

"So i'll be taking you into theatre myself to..." Elliot paused as his boss walked in and watched him from the corner. He gave him a look telling him to continue "Ahhh where was I?...sorry. I'll be taking you into theatre myself to repair the damaged artery. Nurse if we could get Miss Cartwright prepped for surgery please. Thank you." The senior surgeon attempted to avoid the CEO's glare, leaving the room and hoping he wouldn't follow.

"Proffessor Hope" a voice called from behind. Elliot paused for a moment before turning on the spot to face Hanssen. "I see you're going for an open procedure there" he began, gesturing to Miss Cartwright in bed 7. "Do you mind me asking why you didn't consider doing it laproscopically? After all considering her age and general health...and the fact it woud undoubtably leave a much nicer cosmetic result..." Elliot closed his eyes and sighed, knowing only too well what the Swede was trying to do.

"Ah yes well, I did consider it but after talking to Ms Naylor I decided that the damage was too extreme and this way there much less chance of having to do a follow up procedure" he prayed that Hanssen couldn't find a way to undermine him here. The CEO pulled a face

"Are you telling me that it took another consultant to make your decision for you? Or that you don't have the skill to give your patient the best overall result?" Elliot looked down ashamed

"Ah...um...well, no...of course not...I just..." he babbled trying to bring himself back from the brink of humiliation. Hanssen gave him a look of impatience and nodded, walking off to the other side of the ward.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jac had encompassed herself in her work and was about to fit a patient with a chest drain when the Swede, in much the same manner as before, loomed over her ready to criticise her every move. Jonny stood next to her assisting and gave her a worried look, she rolled her eyes and continued, just to keep up her facade. She cleared her head and focused her mind, determined not to give Hanssen a reason to choose her. She began by making the two centimetre incision in the patient's side. She was an elederly woman, in her late seventies, no one thought she would make it but Jac was determined to help her, especially today of all days. She exhaled slowly as blood began to slowly emerge from the patient's skin. 'Come on Naylor, focus' she thought silently to herself.

"Ok, Mrs Humphreys, you'll feel a bit of pressure now" she warned the half conscious woman. The surgeon pressed her finger into the man made cut in her fragile skin. As she did so she began to feel hazy. She ignored it. Jonny noticed the colour fade from her face

"Jac? You okay?" he queried in concern. Jac shot him a look and ignored him

"Drain please Nurse Maconie" she ordered impatiently. He passed her the clear plastic tube, noticing she was swaying slightly

"Jac?" he repeated growing more cautious of his pregnant girlfriend. The surgeon fumbled nervously with the chest drain, trying desperately to get it in place.

"Ms Naylor...would you like me to take over?" Henrik inquired skeptically from the corner. Jac shook her head in embaressment

"No..I just..." she stopped, pressing the back of her gloved hand to her forehead.

"Jac?" Jonny was growing more and more worried by the second. The fragile consultant swayed

"Just..." she fell slightly into Jonny, dropping the tube on the ground next to her. She regained her composure quickly, holding on to the bed for support. Jonny was already taking her place fitting the chest drain without a second thought. She allowed him and stepped backwards cautiously. However when she let go of the bed she found herself falling. Everything went black. She could hear faint muffled voices laced with panic all around her but couldn't bring herself to respond.


	3. Trusting someone else

Jac!...Jac! Can you hear me?" Opening her eyes slowly she saw the source of the disturbance was the curly haired Scottish nurse accompanied by his best friend the nosy registrar "Jac? Jesus Jac, you'll be the death of me I swear!" She didn't understand what all the fuss was about, what the hell was going on? She felt someone place two cold fingers on her wrist - Mo, she shook her off tutting angrily.

"What?..." It suddenly dawned on her, she was lay on the floor in the ITU. Shit, Hanssen! She sat upright suddenly, to find herself being restrained by Jonny's hands.

"Woah Jac, calm down, you're not going anywhere right now." Actually she was quite glad he had said that, considering how dizzy she felt and how much her stomach was whirling, moving right now could only end in more embarressment. She shuffled backwards marginally, crossing her legs and staying on the cold floor with her head in her hands. Jonny was gently rubbing her back and making concerned facial expressions at her. If he'd had his way she'd have been put into bed, attatched to every machine under sun and made to rest for a week but he knew Jac, he knew fussing would only agitate her more. Anyway, she wasn't stupid, he knew if there was something wrong she would do the right thing, she would always put that child before her pride.

Hanssen returned to the room with a blue tinted plastic cup from the water machine filled with cool clear water. He passed it to Jonny, not wanting to bend down and crumple his neatly ironed suite. Typical. Jac looked up and took the water, sipping it gently.

"How are you feeling Ms Naylor?" Mr Hanssen asked, completely lacking any tone of sympathy or concern in his voice. Jac nodded slowly

"Fine, I just...skipped breakfast" she lied unconvincingly.

"In that case I suggest you take an early break and venture down to the cafe." He advised bluntly "Nurse Maconie would you be kind enough to accompany her, we don't want anymore little mishaps do we?" although a asking a rhetorical question they all knew he expected an answer and he was looking at Jac. She got up carefully, straightening herself out, although looking downwards to try and hide her embarressment.

"...no" she mumbled quietly. Sensing he wasn't satisfied she added "I'll go and get something now" smiling sarcastically as she left, with Jonny in tow.

She stormed of hastily towards the elevator while Jonny had to jog slightly to catch up with her.

"Jac!" he hissed sharply "what the hell happened in there?" Jac turned around and looked at him wearily

"Don't Jonny" she all but whispered "just leave it." Jonny sighed exasperatedly and followed her into the lift. She pressed the illuminated button for the ground floor and they stood in silence. Suddenly Jac let out a pain stricken gasp and doubled over slightly, pressing her hand firmly on her stomach. Jonny watched helplessly, she looked so small and vulnerable

"have you got your painkillers with you?" he asked, his tone had changed quickly to be calm and caring. She shook her head and looked at him with tears in her eyes. Jonny was wracked with guilt at not being able do anything so he pulled her closer to him carefully and placed one hand over hers, which was trying to force the pain away, and the other wrapped around her shoulders, moving his thumb up and down gently to comfort her slightly. As they reached the bottom she forced herself to stand up straight and regianed her composure so as not to arrouse suspicion from any nosy passers by. Jonny moved away slightly but kept his hand hovering on her back for moral support. As they walked towards the counter he felt her tense up again and slyly move her hand back towards her little bump. Noticing she was still in pain and not wanting her to pass out again he suggested she go sit outside and get some air while he got her something sweet to raise her blood sugar levels. She agreed, although rather reluctantly, and made her way out towards the car park, she was actually glad of Jonny's generosity as there was a strong smell of coffee in there which was making her feel quite peculiar. She found herself sat in the same spot she had resided to the night she told Jonny about Sean, she happily let her mind trail off on its own with thoughts of 'what ifs' and 'if onlys'. It was only when Jonny arrived carrying two bottles of orange juice and a dark red paper bag obviously containing some sort of confectionary that she came back to reality. She was still sat closely guarding her stomach with her hand, but the pain had become more of a dull ache now, something she could put to the back of her mind with ditractions.

"Shall we go for a walk?" Jonny asked cheerily, realising she still wasn't feeling 100% and hoping it might take her mind off it. She rolled her eyes jokily and replied

"fine" as Jonny handed her the bottle of juice.

They strolled slowly around the outskirts of the hospital, making polite conversation about various pateints and general goings on. After a while they'd come to a bit of an wakward silence when Jonny took a deep breath and after much contemplation said

"Jac?...You know you can talk to me right?" He wasn't looking at Jac, he was nervously staring down at his feet as they walked slowly along. Jac, who was doing the same, glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and the defences went up

"Yes Jonny, strangely enough pregnancy hasn't rendered me completely incapable of human interaction." He sighed and laughed a little

"No but seriously, if there's anything you want to get off that busy little mind of yours, i'm here for you. We may not be together but you're the mother of my child and in my mind that leaves me with some sort of resposibility to look out for you." Jac looked at him properly this time and rolled her eyes

"I don't need the 'I'm here for you' talk Jonny, i've coped on my own for this long, I don't think nine months are going to change much."

"I know Jac, but it's not just for these nine months...it's forever. Whenever you need me I want to try and do what I can for you and this wee munchkin" he gestured towards the barely noticeable bump. "Even if you just don't feel very well and need someone to cuddle you and hold your hair back" he laughed light-heartedly. He didn't noticed Jac had stopped untill she called quietly

"Actually Jonny...I might take you up on that..." Jonny rushed towards the pregnant consultant as she swayed slightly. "I...duu..." her voice faded into nothing as she fell into the nurses open arms and passed out.

* * *

Back up on the ward Elliot was rushing about trying to sort patient files while Mo dealt with Jac's earlier patient who had gone into cardiac arrest. Three different nurses had tried paging Jac and Jonny but they'd obviously left their pagers behind as they were nowhere to be seen.

At that moment Henrik Hanssen decided to stroll back through the ward. Didn't he have better things to do than loom around Darwin?

"Proffessor Hope?" he queried in confusion as the senior consultant ran past him buried in about seven different patient folders.

"Ah, Mr Hanssen...actually, this isn't a very good time really" he called back at the giant swede after spotting him.

"Evidently not, although it's actually Ms Naylor i've come to see, where is she?" Elliot sighed as the CEO glared at him

"She's still on the break you advised her to take, Nurse Maconie too, we've been trying to call them for over an hour but neither are answering their pagers" he waffled on, trying not to drop Jac in it.

"Ah, right well when she does return can you send her up to my office please?" Hanssen asked, feeling like he'd had a wasted journey.

* * *

As Jac came round she felt a warm hand on her arm, as she opened her eyes she wasn't surprised to find it was Jonny

"What h-"

"You fainted again" he said very surely, moving a piece of hair out of her face and sitting her up on the grass "you ok?" Jac nodded quietly, Jonny noticed that she still had one armed wrapped tightly around her stomach and she was shivering profusely. "Here, you're freezing" he said, removing his Holby City NHS jacket, after removing his orange juice and the red bag from the pockets, and gesturing for her to put it on. In all the comtion she didn't have time to grab a coat or anything, so she was only wearing her blue scrubs and even though it was July, it was still chilly.

"What about you though?" she asked, wondering whether pregnancy was making her become so selfless. Jonny shook his head as he slipped her pale arms into the sleeves of the over sized jacket and said

"Don't worry about me, it's you who needs looking after." He then pulled her gently up of the floor, holding her tightly as she regained her balance. They wandered over to a little wooden picnic bench round the side of the hospital. He let her sit down first and then sat next to her, gently rubbing the top of her back. She slowly took a sip of the orange juice, hoping the sugar would stop her feeling dizzy although the sweetness would probably just aggrevate the nausea later on. Jonny then remembered the bag in his left hand. He opened it slowly, whilst being observed by Jac, and pulled out a rather large chocolate chip cookie.

"Don't look at me like that" he laughed as Jac stared at him. He set about splitting the cookie in two, making a mess as he did so, and offered half to Jac, who shook her head gently. "I know you don't feel like eating, but please just eat half...just for me? It'll help with your blood sugar, you don't want to faint Again do you?" Jac looked at him, too exhausted to argue and said

"Fine. You know i'm a doctor though, I do know all that." Jonny laughed at her and handed her the cookie. She nibbled at it slowly, watching Jonny out of the corner of her eye as she did so. He watched her, longing to just wrap his arms around her and tell everyone she was his.

* * *

They wandered back on to the ward about an hour later to be greeted by Elliot, still rushing around with oversized piles of patient folders.

"Jac!" he shouted over to her, he sounded half angry and half glad that she was back "where on earth have you been?" Jonny put his arm protectively around her shoulders on hearing the senior consultant's tone

"Elliot" he hissed "she fainted again." Elliot looked at them both apologetically

"Oh Jac, sorry, are you ok?" Jac nodded silently, smiling back at him. "Uh...Mr Hanssen wanted to see you in his office when you got back" he added. All three looked at each other warily, wondering what effect this would have on the CEO's big 'decision.'


	4. Losing the battle

**Okay so this chapter is pretty dramatic but I'm actually quite proud of it. I think it's a little shorter than the others but that's just the way it works out, hopefully I'll be updating this one again soon because I'm on a bit of a roll :D Enjoy! R&R :) xx **

She walked slowly down the corridor on the top floor of the building and stopped abruptly outside the big wooden doors. Three sharp knocks from the edge of her slim knuckles and an eternity of waiting to be summoned,  
"Enter." The commanding voice called from behind the desk where Henrik Hanssen sat bolt upright, shoulders pinned back and an emotionless glare fixed across his features. She took a deep breath and turned the brass door handle, pushing the door slightly and advanced into the broad room, positioning herself the other side of the desk in full sight of the Swede. "Ah Ms Naylor, do take a seat." She took two steps backwards and briskly lowered herself into the seat behind her, looking up at the man in front of her and awaiting his voice nervously. "I trust you're feeling a little better now?" Although the words were displaying some form of concern, the tone of his delivery still sounded almost threatening. She nodded cautiously and faintly replied  
"yes thank you Mr Hanssen." He nodded in return and transported his gaze away from her and back to his computer screen. By this point she could feel her hands shaking and the hairs on the back of her neck standing up on end, every possibly outcome of this conversation was buzzing through her busy mind and scaring her even more. He looked back to her, digging his glare deep into her green eyes,  
"I've taken the liberty up on myself to examine your medical records Ms Naylor." She took a sharp breath unintentionally and subconsciously moved her hands and her eyes to hover over her stomach. On looking back up into the eyes of the CEO she caught a hint of unusual anger. "Is there you think you should have notified me of?" She couldn't bring herself to answer him, it felt as though her vocal chords had been severed from her mouth, there was no way of answering the question he already knew the answer to. His broad tones broke into the silence loudly "Ms Naylor?" She opened her mouth but still no sound came out, she looked at the Swede helplessly. The volume of his voice increased dramatically "Jac!" She felt herself rushing back to reality, everything coming back to her at the severity of this situation.  
"I'm sorry" where the only words she could extract from the swarming mess that was her mind. He stared straight at her from behind his desk, glaring at her menacingly,  
"You failed to provide me with important information about your health Ms Naylor, you have put yourself and all of your patients in danger, this could have had serious implications on the publicity of the hospital." She could feel the anger brewing inside her chest, hormones and emotions took over and sense of logic, forcefully she came out with it,  
"Of course, because obviously ten years in medicine has been completely counteracted by the fact I'm pregnant right? I couldn't possibly work now could I? I'm just a woman and I might get all hormonal and start cutting patients up all over the place, hm?" It was obvious now that he had made his decision and no amount of sweet talking could bring him round. She contemplated her next move carefully, leaning over his desk so she was centimeters away from his face she hissed "You are nothing but a sexist, male chauvinistic pig!" He stood up behind his desk as she backed away, towering over her menacingly he calmly gestured towards the door  
"Please leave Ms Naylor, hand in your ID as you leave, it pains me to say you will never work in Holby again." She stayed where she was at first, glued to the spot, tears brimming in her eyes. With out warning he suddenly slammed his fist on his desk in an unusual display of emotion "Go on! GET OUT!" She was extremely taken a back by his violence and display of anger, silently she got up from her chair and left the room briskly, hearing the door slam shut behind her.

Back up on Darwin Mo, Jonny and Elliot were gathered around the nurses station discussing a patient when they heard the main doors burst open, almost flying of their hinges and hitting everyone in their path of destruction. The perpetrator of the force behind the innocent slabs of wood was now storming down the corridor to her office. Great wisps of bright orban hair soaring behind her, no longer caring that the whole ward was watching her and could see the freshly fallen tears parading down her pale cheeks, tracing the tracks of those who fell previously. Marching into the office that had been torn away from her possession along with the rank with she had worked so hard and for so long to own, she made no effort to close the door behind her, once again channeling her rage into the inanimate object which had so often shielded her from the outside world. Looking around the room in which she had been based for the last two years she realized that very little of it would be taken with her. She had very few worldly possessions neither here nor at home, never feeling the need to keep hold of anything she gained and never buying much other than the essentials. The realization that once she was gone this office would belong only to Elliot Hope once again, that it would be like she was never there, pushed her over the edge of her emotional state. In one swipe of her hand everything on her desk came tumbling to the floor, with one kick the desk was on it's side lying there helpless and wounded. Screaming and crying, unaware of the commotion she was causing and of those watching her she tore framed certificates of the walls, abandoning them on the floor with their comrades. With anger and frustration still brewing in every pore the only thing to bring her out of this state and snap her back to reality was one word

"Jac?" Her own name spoken by a dark haired figure in front of her. Jonny stood there, teary eyed, in reaalisation that he was seeing what he dreaded most, the woman he loved had finally broken and he was the only one who could attempt to fix her. She took a deep shaky breath and looked around the room at the destruction she had caused. She looked back at the Scottish nurse wide eyed and shell shocked, placing one hand beneath the barely noticeable bump under her scrub top and bringing the other up to her mouth. Jonny took a step forwards towards the trembling consultant, shutting the door behind him in attempt to hide her moment of weakness from prying eyes. He pulled her in close to him and embraced her body in his caring arms, positioning hs head over her shoulder and whispering gently to her as he silently shed a tear.


	5. Falling and hitting rock bottom

**Hey everyone, sorry it's been so long, I've just started year 13 so obviously haven't had much time to do anything lately and I kind of lost my inspiration for a while so sorry if this isn't very good. To those who left the negative guest reviews last time: I'd like to clear up that the reason he fired her is not because she is pregnant (I'm not an idiot, I know you can't do that) it's because no matter what he had to fire someone and seeing as she lied to him and then called him a "sexist, male chauvinistic pig" it was pretty obvious that it was going to be her. Anyway, to those of you who enjoyed it and can see where I'm going thank you for reading and leaving nice reviews, sorry this chapter's so short, as I said I'm a bit stuck at the moment. Hope you enjoy this anyway! **

While they quietly tidied up the mess off the office together Jac took a few moments to look through everything she had flung around the room. Jonny saw her holding two A4 certificates, the frames were smashed and the paper inside was crumpled slightly. He put down the pile of paper he was sorting out and walked over to her, putting his hands on her shoulders and looking down at her with concern on his face. He looked down at one of the broken frames and saw a cream piece of paper with red borders, in a small black calligraphic font it said

'The Royal Trust of Medicine is delighted to present _Jac Naylor _with the title of _Mentor of the year 2012_'

It was dated and signed with a black curly signature but there was a crease right across the middle. He squeezed her shoulders slightly and watched as she smiled painfully at the memory of the night she recieved the award. She ran her finger down the edge of the photo frame, tracing back the past and only felt the stinging of her pale finger when she noticed the glistening red blood streaming down the page. She panicked as she saw her memories becoming irreversably stained, her voice shook as she tried to fix the mess

"oh...oh god, it's staining! Jonny?" Jonny took the frame in one hand, placing it on the desk next to him and lead Jac towards the sofa. He sat her down and took her hand gently, investigating the cut and comforting her as he did. He observed as she sat there, staring past him into the distance, at nothing in particular except the chaos, tears streaming down her face that she had given up trying to combat, she was so numb from all the emotion she didn't even care about the meer throbbing of her wounded finger. Jonny wrapped a blue plaster around her nimble, injured digit and kissed it lightly as she focused her gaze on him. He held her hands infront of him for a moment before, quietly and gently, enquireing

"Jac. What on earth happened?" She looked up at him with big, pain-filled eyes and took a deep breath. She explained slowly to him how she had sat in the Swede's office being patronised and undermined until she could stand no more, how she reached the end of her tether and how this, in turn, caused the CEO to make his early decision, how he uncharecteristically lost his temper and practically forced her out off his office. At the end of her recollection she dropped her head and looked straight down into her lap. Jonny let go of her arms and ran his hands through his thick curly locks, watching her every movement and scouring his mind for a solution. She was so different, her confidence had gone, the Jac that cared so little about what anyone else thought of her, the strong, powerful woman who he had fallen in love with had fallen, she'd fallen so hard and he hadn't been there in time to catch her, now all he could do was attempt to pick up the broken woman and fix her as best he could. He knew he had to pull himself together, and quick so he stood up, cradling his arm round her waist and after making a quick stop to pick up her belongings from the locker room they both left the ward without even stopping to say goodbye, Jonny figured that Jac was quite done with Holby now and speaking to her colleagues would only make everything ten times harder.

Their journey home was all but silent except for the radio quietly breaking the atmosphere with cheesy pop songs and love ballads on some popular, mediocre station. Jonny looked over at the mother of his child now and then but just stared out of the window, almost in some sort of daze, it was obvious he was going to have to take things slowly with her. On arriving back at her flat she walked straight up the stairs, flinging her door open and advancing to her bedroom. Jonny put their bags down by the front door and walked towards the kitchen, calling through to her

"you want a cuppa?" There was no reply from the room so he crept quietly down the corridor and poked his head round the door to see her curled up small on the edge of the double bed, hugging a fluffy pillow and sobbing into it uncontrollably. He sighed at sat next to her, stroking her arm lightly, she sniffed and buried her head futher into the bed, trying unsuccessfully to hide her tears. "Hey," he whispered gently. "Hey, don't cry" he slipped his fingers around her arm and pulled her into his embrace. She cried into his chest for hours, he could feel the moisture of her tears seeping through his t-shirt but he didn't have the heart to let her go, she clung on to him so tightly it scared him. To see her so dependent on someone else to stop her from completely falling apart was utterly terrifying, her shaking, unstable frame looked so helpless and vulnerable and for the first time Jonny felt completely out of his depth.

Eventually she let him go and stood up, nodding towards the bathroom and left him alone in the room while she went to sort herself out. Jonny took a deep breath and ran his hand over his face in desperation. Then he took his phine out of his pocker, scrolled through the hundreds of names in his contact list untill her reached Mo, he selected to send a message and typed just one word,

'Help.'


	6. There a point when only time can heal

**Aaaaagh you all probably hate me because I'm so terrible at updating this! I'm so sorry guys! My teachers just hate me at the moment and feel the need to give me more homework than is humanely possible to do. Anyway if anyone's still reading and you haven't all given up on me or died in the time I've been gone then please enjoy and R&R if you think I possibly think I deserve it. **

A while later Jac had come back and after a bit of convincing had finally gone for a long awaited sleep. Not long after Jonny had crept out of the room there was an furious knock at the front door of the flat. He waited for a moment in silence to check the noise hadn't woken the pregnant woman sleeping in the other room before advancing to the front door and opening it to greet his anxious best friend. She lept at him as the door silently edged open and threw her arms round his neck

"Jonny! What's happening? Where is she?" The nurse accepted the gesture and lightly hugged the registrar back before leading her into the living room and speaking quietly whilst signalling that the traumatised woman was asleep in the other room

"She's cracked Mo...she's just completely distraught. I just...I do-" his own voice cracked as he recalled the image that was ingrained in his mind and sobbed into the arms of his friend. She gently stroked his back and fiddled with the tight curls of his deep brown hair between her thumb and forefinger whilst speaking softly to him

"I know it's hard Jonny Mac. You know she needs you though yeah?" She felt what she pressumed was a nod of his head on her shoulder and heard him sniffle through his tears, in an attempt to lighten the mood she spoke, much like you would to a small child, "so come on then, who's going to be my big brave scottish prince and save the princess from evil Hanssen the dragon?" He lifted his head slowly from her shoulder and gave her baffled look before they both broke down in fits of giggles between impressions of Hanssen the dragon and prince charming.

Unfortunately amidst all the fun and laughter they didn't hear the light but quick footseps rush across the hallway. They didn't hear her retching and spluttering, her silently replacing the toilet seat, the water running over her pale hands or even the chain gurgleing as it flushed. Most importantly they didn't hear her come up behind them, they didn't notice that she was stood in the doorway watching the pair laughing and joking at what seemed like her exspense. It was only when they heard her quiet but stern voice behind them

"Jonny." They both turned round to face the frail red head,

"Hey...nice sle-" she cut him off almost immediately as her voice raised

"Don't. What the hell do you think your doing inviting your little friends over to _my _flat?"#

"No Jac...it's...it's not like that! She's jus-"

"Shut up!" She could feel her cheeks beginning to burn red with rage and here eyes swelling with a multitude of salty tears "Just...Just get out!" The pair were pretty shocked at this sudden outburst and without complete relisation of what she was feeling Jonny stood up and walked towards her, reaching out to place his hand on her arm. She flinched harshly away from the nurse and stepped back whilst shouting at the top of her voice "GET OUT JONNY!" Mo saw the tears again beginning to gather in her best friend's eyes and took that as her cue to lead him towards the door and out of the flat before the whole thing burst into a full blown screaming match.

As the door slammed shut Jac pulled across the chain violently and hurried into the kitchen. She heaved the heavy tool box out from beneath the kitchen sink and rushed back to the front door. Between letting out shaken, subdued sobs and wiping her never ending tears on the sleeve of her dressing gown she screwed and nailed multiple locks onto the door and fixed them all in place. She then rushed round the house and oulled her the curtains and blinds shut before returning back to her bedroom. She huddled into the middle of the big double bed and curled herself tightly into a ball under her covers, wrapping her pale shaking arms around her stomach and crying herself gently to sleep.

**Sorry it's so short again, between not having anytime and being too exhausted to actually have any inspiration or motivation. :/ Anyway, I digress once again, thank you for reading and bare with me! :') **


	7. One last hope

**I know I said I'd update this yesterday but my wifi wasn't working when I got home yesterday. However, IT IS NOW SO YAYY! Enjoy xx **

A week passed and no one heard anything from Jac. Jonny, Michael, Elliot and even Mo had tried phoning, emailing and texting her, but there was no reply. They had even braved going round and knocking on her door but there was nothing and all was silent.

It had got to the point where Elliot had taken it upon himself to sort all of his colleague's possessions out himself and drop them outside her flat where, despite his efforts, they were still sat a week later.

Jonny was obviously a complete mess, all he could think about was his baby and her Mum. He wasn't focusing on his work and was making so many mistake which were so unlike him but he just kept failing control his mind. Eventually at the end of the week Elliot, who was already having a rough time as all of Jac's work had been transferred to him, was at the end of his tether with the nurse and sent him home with his preverbial tail between his legs after a good talking to from the senior consultant.

Mo was also doing all she could to look after her best friend but he didn't really want to know and eventually she gave up as her efforts were becoming pointless.

Hanssen was in everybody's bad books for what he had done to Jac. Even those that didn't like the woman, those that found her rude and overbearing felt something akin to sympathy for the consultant after hearing the whole tale from those that worked on Darwin and had been there to watch the whole sorry saga unfold.

Meanwhile while this was all happening Sacha was still battleing through his daughter's recent leukaemia diagnosis and everyone was still treadng on eggshells around him. He had obviously heard about what had happened to Jac and although he was concerned about her as he considered her his best friend, he hadn't even had the chance to _try_ and check on her.

One afternoon a few weeks after the drama Sacha was exiting the hospital after a long and stressful day when he heard something crash to the floor next to him and someone muttering under their breath. He stopped and looked down to see a phone smashed into three pieces on the floor next to his feet, he then looked up slightly and saw a certain nurse on one of the benches outside the hospital with his head of curly hair buried in his hands. Sacha picked up the shattered phone off the floor and wandered over to him. Jonny lifted his head as he heard footsteps coming towards him and took the phone of the friendly consultant. He released a huge sigh,

"thanks...sorry." Sacha made an attempt to smile back as he sat down next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"So, how's Jac holding up?" Jonny sounded almost broken as he laughed exhaustedly,

"oh if only I knew..." Sacha looked back at him in confusion before he explained, "Nobody's heard from her since the day it all happened. She kicked me and Mo out of the flat and now she's not answering anyone's calls and messages." Suddenly he realised something, Jac and Sacha were really close! He had seen her be there for him when he needed a friend and he was hoping she would allow him to do the same for her. "Hey, have you heard from her?" Sacha felt a knot in his stomach when he saw the glisten of hope in the younger man's eyes, knowing he had to let him down,

"No sorry mate, I've erm...I've had other things on my mind..." Jonny kicked himself internally when he realised what the man before him was going through,

"Jesus Christ I'm so sorry Sacha...I...I didn't think..." Sacha smiled again as he shook of the nurse's pity. "How is Rachel?" Jonny couldn't imagine what he was going through but he knew what it was like to worry about a child so much and be absolutely powerless. Sacha shrugged his shoulders and ran his hand over his now growing hair which instantly took him back to the moment he shared with Jac as she shaved his head and their conversation gave him the first clues as to his latest suspicions.

"ah yeah...she's um...she's having the transplant next week so we're just hanging on until then..." Jonny nodded and patted the older man on the shoulder sympathetically. "Jonny...can I ask you something?" The nurse turned to face Sacha with an inquisitve and open facial expression. "Um...well...it's about Jac...we were um...talking a few weeks ago and she was asking me about having kids. I mean...at first I though it was just because of everything going on with Rachael but then when I thought about it a bit more...I..I thought.." he stopped and looked at Jonny as he pondered whether he should be saying this. Jonny smiled back at him as he realised what was happening in the man's head,

"yeah Sacha I'm gunna stop you right there...I know what you're thinking" he had a slight twinkle of happiness in his eye as he said this, "she's pregnant!" The pair looked at each other in astonishment for a moment before standing up as Jonny recieved a congratulatory hug. Almost straight after Sacha realised why Jonny was so worried about the consultant and suddenly felt an instinct to go and give her some support.

"Listen Jonny, I've got to be off anyway, I've um...I've told Chrissie I'd be home early tonight" he lied. Jonny nodded as he understood completely and the pair parted ways, Jonny off to Albie's to drown his sorrows and Sacha off to his car to begin formulating a plan.

**Sorry it's only short again, however, I know exactly where I'm going with this part so if I have time before my riding lesson I may be really nice and update again tonight. **

**P.s. Lots of nice reviews may just persuade me ;)**


	8. The only person

**Was going to update when I got back from my lesson on Monday but my wifi decided to die again :( Anyway, this is for Kayla because she's fabulous! ;) Enjoy! xx **

As Sacha made his way up the steep staircase to Jac's flat he began thinking about what exactly he would say...that was if she would even speak to him...but he had a plan to get through to her. When he reached the door he noticed the small box of stationary, photo frames and other such things and took a moment to nose through. He noticed the crumpled certificate and remembered the phone call he had recieved from the consultant that night.

"Jac? What's up?" he answered when he noticed the caller ID pop up on his phone. She found herself smiling uncontrollably on the other end of the phone

"I think you'll find that should be 'Consultant Jac Naylor, Mentor of the year' Mr Levy". Sacha unknowingly joined her in grinning like a cheshire cat and immediately told her to get over to Albie's before hanging up so she couldn't refuse.

He took a moment to remember her proud, cheerful face before he took a deep breath, rung the doorbell and waited.

As he suspected there was no answer. He pressed the bell again. Still nothing. He took a moment to think before lifting his hand and banging firmly on the door three times.

"Jac?" No reply. "Jac? Come on Jac I know you're in there." Inside, Jac sat curled up on the sofa pretending to watch whatever rubbish was blareing on the tv. She heard the bell and as usual decided to ignore it until they went away. It rang again. She stayed where she was. Then came the knocking. As much as she wanted to answer the door and poor her heart out to whoever was on the other side she stuck fast. Then she heard them call her name. She struggled to recognise the voice at first but they kept talking. Sacha! Part of her had been secretly hoping he would call in on her all week.

Sacha knocked again a few more times.

"Come on Jac. open the door...please?" There was still no reply. "Right, well, If you won't come out then I will stay here until you get bored of the sound of my voice and have to let me in!" He then took his coat off, sat on the floor and took a bar of chocolate out of his pocket.

Jac heard his coat rustle and the light bump as he slid down the wall and made himself comfortable.

Through a mouth full of chocolate Sacha called again. "This floor isn't very comfortable Jac! It would be very rude to make a man of my age sit out here all night."

Jac smiled to herself for the first time in weeks at her friend's complaining. She then began to think to herself, 'I wonder if he knows about the baby? Would Jonny have told him?'

"You're a stubborn cow sometimes you know Jac?" Sacha called, hoping to rile her up and get some sort of sarcastic response. Nothing.

She continued to think to herself, 'I wonder if anyone else knows? ...would he?'

"Jaaaac! I'm going to have to start singing if you don't reply to me!"

Suddenly she had another thought, last time she saw Sacha she was shaving his head for Rachel. She immediately looked down at her own stomach and wondered how her best friend was coping as strangely she did understand what it was like to love a child.

Sacha was still sat on the floor with his head up to the door trying to listen out for her,

"no? Ok then, you've pushed me Jac." He then started singing very loudly and very out of tune "_I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves!" _

Jac struggled to stifle a laugh as she listened to him. However, her mind was still on Rachel and she knew she wouldn't be able to forget about it now.

Half way through the third rotation of his virtuosic masterpiece he suddenly stopped as he heard footsteps. He moved forwards on to his knees and once again pressed his ear against the door. Then he heard a loud clanking and jingleing of chains. He quickly got up to his knees and picked up the box that was sat next to him. Then there was another metalic clunk as the key twisted in the lock. He waited with hope and anticipation whilst his heart thumped in his chest and the door handle began to turn.

Jac's pulse was also racing and her palms sweating as she opened up the door to her lonely solitude for the first time in a matter of weeks.

Unkowingly they both took a deep breath together as the door creeked open a crack. Sacha raised his eyebrows and smiled slightly as she peered through the crack in the door.

"Hey." she spoke in an uncharacteristically soft and quiet voice as she stood in the doorway looking scared and vulnerable.

Sacha took a moment to take in her appearance, he was shocked at her pale skin and blood shot eyes. She looked overly thin in her baggy tshirt and leggings. She began to feel self concious as her friend gorped at her and Sacha realised this when she began to shuffle uncomfortably. He quickly snapped himself back to reality and spoke quietly,

"Hey...Can I come in?" Jac nodded and smiled sadly as she opened the door just enough to let him through before slamming shut and re-fastening all the locks. She turned back round and looked at the Consultant, then down at the cardboard box in his hands. He followed his gaze and explained, "I assumed these were yours...someone left them outside..." Closing her eyes and nodding slowly she threw her gaze down to the floor,

"um...yeah...Elliot bought them...I..I.." She stopped as she failed to voice why she hadn't already bought them in. Sacha placed the box down on a nearby table and squeezed her shoulder sympathetically,

"It's alright Jac...I get it." Slowly she exhaled and began to relax in the company of her best friend.

"uh...I'd offer you a cup of tea but...um..." she passed her gaze around the room and over to the empty kitchen. "Well I...haven't got much -" She stopped again as her voice began to crack and the tears started to well in the corners of her glistening green eyes. Sacha placed his arm gently around her shoulders and lead her to sit on the sofa where he pulled her frail body into his own and she sobbed into his warm body where she felt safe for the first time in weeks.

Meanwhile, Jonny sat in Albie's bar with a pint of beer that had been sat there for an hour and a half. His plan for the night was to get absolutely inhebriated to the point where he wouldn't know which way was up but he didn't. He sat there with his hands wrapped around the glass while he stared into the distance, thinking about Jac and his baby.

Suddenly he could take it no more. He shot up from his seat, grabbed his coat and stormed out of the bar, leaving his drink hardly touched and flat. He then fumbled through his pockets until he layed his hands on his car keys and jumped into his car.

When the redhead had all but run out of tears and Sacha was practically drenched in them, he slipped his arm out from behind her back and stood up, grinning mischeiviously. He reached out his big hands, slipped them around her wrists and pulled her up on to her feet.

"Come on you, we're going for a walk!" She was slightly taken aback by his sudden enthusiasm and look at him enquisitively. "Come on!" He took her hand gently in his own and walked her over to the front door where he stopped, took her big brown coat of the hook and held it out for her as she slipped her arms into it. He then threw his own jacket on, grabbed the keys out of the dish by the front door and began to undo the multitude of locks. He could hear her behind him taking deep shaky breaths so reached out and grabbed her hand again, giving it a light squeeze.

Jac could feel her pulse increasing and her heart thumping in the depths of her chest. She couldn't even begin to understand why she was so scared about the prospect of leaving her flat but all she knew was she was so terrified she swore she could feel actual butterflies in her stomach.

Suddenly the door was wide open. She could see the lengths of the hallway outside her flat and it seemed like miles. Her body's first reaction was to run in the opposite direction, but as Sacha had hold of her hand, that wasn't an option.


	9. Realisation - part 1

**I've written this in very scattered little bits so I'm sorry if you struggle to make sense of it. However, my Wifi has been working for a whole day! *high five me* So I've decided now would be a good time to upload before it dies again. Enjoy! xx **

Jonny raced over to Jac's flat in a fluster of emotion and passion, he pulled up at the curb outside the building and yanked the handbrake on. For a moment he sat in his seat completely still, with his head of thick curls resting wearily in his hands. There was an internal debate taking place in his head as to whether he was really doing the right thing. He knew that what Jac had said she wanted was space, and perhaps those who claimed to know her thought the same. She had a way of convincing people that she was ok, that she didn't need help and support, but he believed that he knew her better. He knew he had a connection with her, they were more alike than either of them realised and something inside was telling him that she needed him, even if she didn't realise it at that point in time, once he got through to her perhaps she would open up.

Jac and Sacha came to a point at which their walking and participating in pointless small talk became irrelevant and they found themselves at a point with nowhere else to walk and with nothing more to talk about without getting serious. They soon came to a stop in a nearby park, they sat down next to each other on a bench sheltered by a cluster of trees which were beggining to lose their colour in the midst of the Autumn. The pair sat in silence for a moment, watching the world as people walked past, young bachelors walking their dogs, children playing frisby in the last of the years sun and an elderley couple doing nothing more that enjoying a strole in the park. Then, out of the blue a woman pushing a pram walked past with her young son. From inside the depths of the cosy pushchair came a gurgle and then a dummy flew out and landed like a message from the gods at Jac's feet. Sacha watched over her as she picked up the pink piece of plastic and held it for a moment, running her nimble finger over the simple childlike pattern. She stood up slowly and began walking towards the woman, as she called after the stranger she began to pick up her pace until she had caught up to her.

"uh you um...you dropped this..." She held the dummy out in her open hand and looked at the woman helplessly. The woman, of average height had shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes which were slightly dull with tiredness. Jac guessed that the mother was in her early thirties but noticed the dark rings around her eyes as she smiled back at her, which aged her considerably. The woman thanked Jac as she slipped the retrieved item into a spare pocket and pulled another out to place in the child's open mouth. Jac watched on with intrigue at this child, she peered unkowingly into the baby's safe haven of blankets and play things. Without thinking about it she reached her pale hand out towards the young child and smiled softly as she began uncharacteristically babbleing to her. She was amazed by the tiny being and had so many questions as she subconciously placed her hand over her own abdomen. "H..how old is she...?"

Sacha was watching on at the interraction she was making with this woman, a mother, one of a collection of people she very rarely felt the need to converse with and on more than one occassion had placed them at the end of one of her sarcastic comments. The pair chatted for atleast ten minutes and he swore he could almost see a tranformation taking place there and then. He watched the women smile and exchange pleasantries, and the mother thank Jac once again for returning her child's beloved dummy before she left and the consultant returned to her friend's side, wondering whether he'd question her over that unusual occurance.

As she sat back down she noticed him grinning at her like an excited toddler and threw him a confused expression.

"What?" She questioned him as he beamed proudly. He bit his lip and turned his gaze away momentarily,

"Jac..." She widdened her eyes in her bid for an explanantion, although she had a feeling she knew what was coming. "I um...I know..." he glanced quickly at her stomach as she inhaled nervously and self consciously curled her arms around herself. "I'm so happy for you Jac!...How do you..feel about it...?" She looked nervously at the floor as she picked at her finger nails,

"I...um.." She stopped momentarily as she tried intently to put it into words. "I don't...I don't know." She stopped again, feeling infuriated with herself for her lack of ability to explain herself. Sacha placed a hand on her shoulder gently, willing her to continue. "I...I just.." She ran her hands briskly through her hair as tried to compose herself. "I never wanted children...I..I thought I might..um..I was scared that..I..." tears soon began to fill her shiny green eyes as the past flooded into her mind. "I was scared that I'd become my mother..." Sacha had to double check he'd heard correctly as he looked up at her. The fact that Jac Naylor had admitted fear made him realise how vulnerable she really was. She shuffled up closer to him as he pulled her into a hug, he whispered softly to her as she tried intently to hold back her tears,

"Jac, you are nothing like your Mum, you know that right?...You may be the ice queen but you are nowhere near as cold as that women...yeah?"

Jonny found himself bounding up the stairs as he fumbled around in his jacket pocket searching for one thing, the key her flat, the one thing that she had given to him which proved there was any sort of connection between them. He reached the door and knocked firmly three times. As usual there was no answer. He knocked again to be doubley sure. Still there was nothing. He called out her name and placed his ear to the door. Complete silence. He took the key from his pocket and placed it in the lock. The few times he had dared to try using his own key before he had found himself unable to get any further because of the bolts and chains baracading the other side. This time, he was surprised to find that he could open the door fully and easily. Not sure what to make of this development, he made his way carefully into the hallway of the flat.

"Jac?" He called out cautiously as he continued to walk, down the hall, into the lounge. Strange...she hadn't burst out screaming at him for 'breaking in.' He quickened his pace as he searched the rest of the flat, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest as checked the last room. He pulled his phone out of his pocket as he jogged back through the hallway. After typing the number in with one hand and slamming the door shut with the other he bound down several flights of stairs, two steps at a time, stopping abruptly when he reached the bottom. The phone rang out and played the generic answer phone message which he has become all the more familiar with in the past few weeks. He walked slowly towards the car as he listen to the recorded woman instructing him to 'leave a message after the tone', opening the door and sitting down in the drivers side as the beep rung in his ears. There was a moment of contemplating silence before he spoke,

"Jac...Jac I don't know where you are or whether you even want to hear from me right now but please..._please_ just let me know your ok...look I...I know you don't believe me but I do genuinely care about Jac...I genuinely want to be a part of your life, but..if that's too much right now then I just want you to call me...please Jac." He then hung up the phone firmly and sighed.


End file.
